My 4th grade teacher was in my dream. He's a generally nice guy, although not too involved with his student. In my dream he was selecting among a group of students to accompany him on a study abroad trip i guess. We were sitting around a table, i was feeling very weird that day - a mixture of bitterness and rebellion, a very screw-you-world attitude. So i hid his drink under the table. He soon discovered it was me, and he was furious, as if I just stole from him or s.th. Anyway, to save my opportunities, i started begging him. I told him how hard it's been for me. I don't remember what but it was very personal, &i was very convincing. I guess in the end we were even closer than we were at the beginning. I had a feeling i got the position, although i never actually did see any confirmation. Oh and, there was a scene when i was chasing after him down a path of stairs on his way to a store, &wall e was walking out of the store. I stayed bhind bc i didn't want wall e to see me. There was a very clear scene that they crossed path. There were s.th very similar in their postures.
Yesterday was exhausting. Dad had to come up &drive me home for a fcking housing interview, bc i am now '18.' The ride was long &nauseated, but i brought a bunch of rendezvous &pizza home, so that was nice. We went to the fcking meeting in that awful office. Waited for half an hour while the menacing receptionists barked at each other and at comers in the sourest, bitchiest, bossiest, most broken English ever. Kids dropped a few papers: "Gosh how can people do this?! What an undisciplined, uneducated family!" She couldn't even speak proper Vietnamese, adding meaningless words like 'okai?' 'you know?' every so often to speeds up her speech and perhaps hide her stupidity as well. Yes, i feel like ignorant stupid ppl like her were judging me, &that not only upset me but also made me recoil. By the time we got into the interviewer's office, i was full of hateful attitude. She TOLD me to translate to my parents - not asked, told - &told me to write things as if i were her personal secretaries. I almost screamed at her, 'why don't you do it, it's your job.' Things were really intense - papers flew at us, we had to sign this and that, one after another for almost 2 hours. I was overwhelmed, and thus, stressed out.
She had a picture of her daughter in her office, whom, judging by how young she looks, just entered uci. sth about the fancy portraits throughout her childhood and nice stuffed anteater of a frame (UCI) that made me feel uncomfortable. Yes, i feel like that girl has had things that i wasn't so fortunate to have in my childhood. But in truth, that is a silly feeling. I have senior portraits too, if i want to display 'em. I don't get the latest things that teenagers have, but i eventually have them, or the trend becomes worthless and goes away. Why do i always feel like a poor, deprived child? :( She was nice to me, in the end. She nicely gave me back my class schedule when i asked, &showed a degree of impression when i told her my family and i aren't paying a cent for college this year. I don't like public-assisting, social workers' offices.
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Dad drove me back to school early that afternoon for me to make it to my stupid interview for Asian Pacific Coalition internship. To be honest, i only did the application last minute bc the app was too awesome. I got to paste a snippet of my artworks on there, with my website and all. The interview was ridiculous. Total deja vu moment back to Decathlon's impromptu portion. They showed me a schedule: You have 2 minutes to introduce yourself &why you want to join (i only used 1 min. Fail), 10 minutes for us to ask questions, &2 minutes closing to tell us what you might regret not telling (wtf?) I tried not to laugh, bc i was so unprepared &my responses, though thoughtful, were completely bs. &they asked some serious stuff, like what does it mean to be a Vietnamese American (What is the meaning of life?!), why is it important for Pan America Asian Pacific groups to come together, what are the issues i'm most passionate about, what was the hardest moment of life &how did i overcome it. blabblab. You know i've never been successful at interviews, much less impromptu speeches...But i gotta try.
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