Friday, 24 September 2010

• I really miss wall e.  The other night i went to watch Buried, a thriller / horror movie w/ the SEA ADMIN crew.  The movie's about an American truck driver working in Iraq, who was kidnapped by the terrorists and buried alive.  He woke up realizing he was in a coffin.  There were a phone, and a video camera.  The terrorists demanded a million dollars or else he'd be left to die.  He called his family, who wasn't at home.  He called his company, who quickly fired him due to a nonexistence sexual relationship with another female worker, to shirk the responsibility and insurance coverage for his life.  He called the US military, who firmly established they will not negotiate with terrorists.  Basically, he realized no one really care about him, or his life.  He died.  The movie actually had many more horrifying scenes, which tortured me to watch.  I was so pissed off when other ppl were complaining that the movie sucks, how it only had 1 actor and 1 setting throughout.  Who cares about the cinematic effects ?!  Shouldn't you be more concern with what the content is trying to set up ?  It's a terrifying display of human nature, the part that inflicts immense fear on others for personal gain.  How can you not be concerned ?  I was scared out of my wits.  Ppl are just bitches.  Anyway, i went back to my dorm &told him about it, to which he listened.  But he quickly signed off after that.  Made me feel so empty.  I miss him..

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Did i tell you, my first day of college, i had a dream about sam.  I don't remember what it was about, but he was in it, bc i recognize the familiar sickness in my stomach and the groan that my consciousness lets out.  Today i accidentally saw a profile picture of him, lifting and kissing his gf.  It makes me feel sick.  Sick, sad, and bothered all at once.  Why...

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Today was just a really bad day.   i went to my first college class - Asian American Studies.  The professor is kinda young, and good looking, in a nerdy way (suspenders and all) - Victor Bascara was his name.  He played Beyonce &Taylor Swift at the beginning of class for 'mood music.'  We watched some commercials &some clips; he talked mostly.  But i really didnt see a point in what he was saying, so he's not that good.  The rest of the day i was just panicking about how to get home tmr.  I can catch a ride from Theresa, but she leaves at 10 pm, &her house is in Placentia, a good 20 minutes drive away :[  Mom kind of wants me to take the metro/amtrak, but i've never been on them; the thought of getting dropped off somewhere is frightening.  Fucking Tim is not giving me a ride (fuck you... )  My dad can drive here to pick me up Saturday, but that's kinda a waste.  No one knows anything...

My roommates went out all day to do some sorority stuff.  I was left alone in the room, &i suddenly felt so lonely... Dear, i feel like this place is just making me more self-consciousness, &yeah, shallow. Idk, suddenly i felt sick &terrible.   Dinner wasn't doing the trick either.  I just feel really, really shitty.  Like somehow there's sth wrong w/ me...